25 Aug The Importance of Preparation

Benjamin Franklin famously said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” This core idea of ‘preparation’ runs throughout our world every day. While there is no written test to ‘fail’ in the aging process, it is definitely essential to be prepared for the process. Whether you are preparing yourself or a loved one, there are some practical things you can do to prepare for end-of-life care. In this blog, we wanted to lay out three main ways that you can prepare for this new stage of life. 

Details for Care: 

Starting off on a practical note, details are essential in the care process. It is very helpful if you gather a lot of details about your loved one before you call an agency for help.  At our agency (and most other agencies) we need to know your ‘details for care’. 

First, what schedule do you need or desire?  Home care agencies schedule caregivers for cases and the first question from our employees is “How many hours does the person need in a week?”  Knowing the schedule before calling is very helpful to get started.  Will they need four hours every other week or 24-hour care per week? These are opposite ends of the spectrum, but the number of hours will greatly determine your care journey and how much it will cost you.  

Second, knowing what medications your loved one is currently taking is really important.  Our nurse will have to gather this when she comes over, so getting all those bottles out and listed somewhere will save a ton of time for both you and the nurse when she comes.  

Third, we will need the address of the person receiving care.  We try our best to locate a caregiver who lives close by.  

Finally, we need two last pieces of data: 

1) Do you or your loved one have any pets in the home, and 

2) Do you or anyone in the house smoke?  

These last two questions throw a lot of cases into turbulence if not answered honestly.  Many caregivers are allergic to certain pets and/or to smoke.  

The next important care detail to have in mind is your (or your loved one’s) financial resources.  Most agencies are ‘private-pay’ meaning that the person receiving the care will have to pay for the service from their own pocket.  The only exception is the possession of a ‘Long Term Care’ insurance policy.  If your loved one is former military, there is a small ‘Care and Assistance’ program through the Veterans Administration that provides some relief and benefits to veterans.  It can be very expensive to care for a loved one, but the factors such as insurance, social security, military benefits, or retirement funds can alter your budget and experience. We have lots of experience with these (sometimes complicated!) factors.  Reach out to our team if you have questions. We want to make this process less stressful for you. 

Emotional preparation: 

The next tip is more focused on your emotional state and preparation before entering the care process. We know that this season can be very stressful and hard for everyone involved, so it’s important to make sure you’re connected to a social network and other family members to drain the stress that comes from caring for an aging family member.  

One of the biggest emotional blocks we see in families is guilt. Many family members struggle with feelings of guilt and shame in regard to how they cared (or did not care) for their loved ones in the past. While this is understandable, it is often not deserved. The process of caring for a loved one is usually an evolving experience and often it is the first time you have done it.  It is incredibly taxing.  If you let yourself stew in feelings of guilt for the ‘what if’s’ or ‘should haves’, you will leave yourself in a vulnerable position to be burnt out, exhausted, and emotionally drained. Give yourself grace for the work you are doing and the inevitable mistakes you will make. You are doing the very best you can in a really hard situation. Give yourself a break.

Spiritual Preparation: 

The last tip in this blog is related to spiritual preparation. We know this topic can be sensitive and hard for lots of people, but it’s important and worthwhile to ponder and prepare these areas of your life. Care for an aging loved one will involve the end of life and all the spiritual implications of death.  This takes careful and thoughtful consideration beforehand.  

We are a company seeped in the Christian world ethic and we are based on two core values of loving and serving others as Jesus would. We serve anyone, regardless of the existence or absence of faith.  We treat everyone with love.  We have walked many, many souls up to and over the threshold of death and each time found it to be a holy and sacred journey.  The more thought everyone around the loved one can consider regarding the departure of a soul, the better.  Death can be a jarring experience at times.  We certainly stand ready to help in any way we can at this juncture of your journey.  The President and CEO of our company is an ordained minister and has over 36 years of experience.  We are eager to help in any way we can to prepare you, your family, and/or your loved one with spiritual preparation.

Each journey through the last years of your or your loved ones’ life is unique, and there is not one way to move through it.  We hope that these tips for preparation are helpful and encouraging. We are here for you and your family to help, encourage, and support you through what can be a hard time and, at the same time, be a holy time filled with laughter and joy.