13 Jun Family Peace in the Aging Process
We all have different stories and histories with our families. Some of us have positive experiences, and some have negative. Either way, we’re all shaped by our families.
ACCfamily has been serving families through home care for over 28 years, so we’ve seen countless family dynamics and how those dynamics impact the aging process. The process of taking care of a loved one can be one of the most stressful, tiring, and straining experiences for individuals and families alike. And family dynamics can either smooth or deteriorate the situation even more. At ACCfamily, we focus on caring for our clients and families, but we also really care about sharing the information we’ve learned along the way to help others in the aging process. We want this blog to be a resource for families going through this process, so in this month’s blog post, we’re going to lay out four main tips for family peace in the aging process.
Communication:
Our first main tip is regarding communication. This may seem redundant because we’ve all heard it before. However, this is an issue we encounter daily in families working through the aging process. Poor communication leads to disunity, distrust, and disagreement. It is very important to work with your loved one that needs care, and more importantly the surrounding family members to establish expectations, roles, and processes through the aging process. It can be as simple as creating schedules for visiting, or expressing when you feel burnt out and need help from your community.
Clear communication helps your support system work together to solve very challenging issues. And more importantly, it gives your loved one that needs care the support system they need as their daily life is forever changed. Communicating can be the main factor in creating peace through the season of transition for your family. We have seen many families go through this season, and the ones that can communicate well often create joy, peace, and support for their loved ones, and everyone is brought together in unity.
Your Core Value (as opposed to your parent’s value):
Most times, the ‘core value’ of a daughter is safety. The ‘core value’ of a parent is independence. It is vital to establish your support of your parent’s core values for your loved one during the aging process. When a daughter imposes their value of safety on to the parent, it causes disunity, disdain, and strife. This is most often what we see in families needing care. Oftentimes, the daughter prioritizes her own value for their parent, even if It comes from love. They just want their parents to be safe and cared for, so they look for all ways to create safety for their parents. However, often, aging seniors value independence the most, and want to do whatever they can to extend that.
As well-intended as it is to want a safe place for your parents, the end result is more often disunity and conflict for your aging parent. It is vital to the aging process to honor the core value of your loved one (rather than your own) and prioritize that in the process of receiving care. This will communicate consideration and love to your aging parent and will help them age more gracefully, and will help your relationship with them.
Community:
Our third tip is relating to the community. It is important for everyone to feel loved, valued, and engaged throughout their lifetime, and this is the same for aging seniors. Even though it seems seniors have less energy or desire to engage socially, this is often not the case. Studies show that seniors need and thrive when interacting with others regularly.
“A strong social life has been linked with many health benefits, like less risk of depression and longer life span. Older adults who interacted with people beyond their usual social circle of family and close friends were more likely to have higher levels of physical activity, greater positive moods, and fewer negative feelings.”
A great way to start is by encouraging your family or support system to engage with your loved one regularly and deeply. This creates a loving and supportive daily experience for your loved one which can extend their life and help them age gracefully. If possible, encourage your aging loved ones to go out and participate in social experiences outside of their everyday experiences (bingo is always a popular idea!). If your loved one isn’t able to move about regularly, creating good relationships with your hired care team can create an atmosphere of love in the home.
Creating independence:
Our last tip is arguably the most important. Throughout the many years of service we have done, the most common value we see in aging seniors is independence. When someone lives the vast majority of their life making their own decisions alone, the transition to needing 24/7 care can be very difficult. There is no way to fully escape this reality, but it is very possible to give different forms of independence to your aging loved one every day. At ACCfamily, this is our top priority through our home care services. There are countless ways to cultivate independence for your loved ones, but the main way to do so is to help them stay at home while they age. Home care has been shown in countless ways to extend independence, increase happiness, and quality of life.
If you would like to learn more about extending independence through home care, please click the button below to learn more about our services and get in contact with our team. We have kind people wanting to help you and your loved one through what can be a very stressful time!
We hope these four tips help guide you towards family peace in the aging process. This season can be hard, but it is so rewarding to create strong relationships and memories with those you love most.