When the title of “Daughter” is Compromised

In 2007, a book entitled, “Mothering Mother: A daughter’s Humorous and heartbreaking Memoir” was published, a work that portrayed the experience of looking after a mother suffering from Alzeimer’s and Parkinsons’s disease. Carol O’Dell’s book is laced with a brutal honesty, grace, and humor.

The concept of ‘role reversal’ is rampant in our current society, with the elder-population increasing, and hard decisions weighing down. From decisions made in the inner circle of family members (should WE take on the responsibility of care-giving? Are nursing homes an option? Do my parents have the cognitive capabilities to make such a decision?) to large-scale law and policy decisions (Seen the new elder-care laws in China?), care-giving is never far from the current hot topic.

This memoir is an open invitation into the shifting roles that men and women play in a family’s typical routines, the prominent role being women. Identities are shifted as daughters become ‘mothers,’ nurturing different generations, adapting to roles, and nuances of daily lives. It’s difficult. It’s bittersweet. It’s hard to compromise.


Role Reversal is a subject close to ACCfamily’s heart and ingrained in our ethos: We want the DAUGHTER to retain her role as the DAUGHTER. Instead of letting bitterness take hold and grief become the crown, ACCfamily’s business is attending to the needs of family members in a way that supports the family. Keep your role as a daughter. Keep your role as a son. Explore questions of faith, hope, death, life as a devoted family member, not as a medical care-giver.